Secrets
by PrentissRose
Summary: Everybody has secrets...A take on the teams senior year of high school and proceeding forward in life had they already met...E/O
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Everybody has secrets...**

* * *

July 15

Olivia Benson was sick of everything; the yelling, the screaming, the way her mother blamed her for everything. At seventeen, she shouldn't be the one cleaning up her mothers cans of beer and bottles of wine on an regular basis because Serena was passed out on the god damn couch. She let a few tears fall as she threw clumps of clothing into her old, black duffle bag and held back a sob as she pondered what the hell she was going to do in the middle of a Wednesday night in the heart of New York City. Maybe she could stay at a friends house, but who would be willing to take her in without calling Serena. God knows what she would do when she found out. Olivia touched the top of her cheek that was beginning to swell and turn a sickish purple from her mother's hard blow. It took all of Olivia's self control not to hit her back, to make her cry and beg for forgiveness from her daughter, but Olivia couldn't. As painful as it was to admit, Olivia still loved her mother. She didn't know why or how she could love someone that neglected her her whole life, but it was the way it was and there was nothing she could do to change that.

Olivia slowly zipped the duffle bag shut and listened for signs that her mother was awake after passing out once more. All was silent. Quickly, but quietly Olivia flung the window attaching to the fire escape open and gently laid the bag on the metal of the stairs. There was something she had to do before she left for good, though.

She unlocked the bedroom door and crept across the hall, seeing the faint glare of the television screen as some stupid reality show was playing. Olivia lightly opened the door close to the kitchen and saw the figure of her sister huddled under the sheets, her shoulders visibly shaking.

"Alexandra," Olivia said softly walking over to her and laying a hand on Alex's back. She heard a muffled sob escape Alex and if her heart wasn't already broken it would have been hearing her sister cry over something that should've been avoided.

"I don't like when you fight with her, Olivia," Alex sobbed, tugging the covers over her head so she could look Olivia square in the eye. "She's a drunk, you can't do anything about it, and instigating her, yelling back at her will just fuel the fire! Why do you have to be so god damn selfish?," Alex cried, her hormonal fifteen year-oldself in a frenzy of anger, as well.

"Alexandra," Olivia said once more in such a hushed tone that even shebegan to feel the sadness and pain creeping up on her. "I'm leaving." The words rang out empty; everything was silent. Alex's light blue eyes welled with more tears.

"Why?," she croaked out, not being able to properly talk right now. Her whole world was crashing down around her and she couldn't do a thing about it.

"I-I have to leave here, Al," Olivia tried to explain the extremely complex situation to her, knowing that she may never understand why her sister left her alone with a monster. As she struggled to tell her what she planned to do, Alex just cried and begged her to stay.

"Going out west won't do you any good, Liv," Alex objected like the lawyer she wanted to be someday. "You're underage." Olivia nodded, having thought this through as carefully as she could in a span of a few minutes.

"In a few months, I'm turning eighteen. I-I'll..." She paused thinking again before speaking, "I'll change my name, tell everyone my parents died and that I'm an only child. I'll get a job and hopefully apply for a scholarship somewhere." Alex squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head lightly, her long blonde hair falling over her shoulders. Olivia knew it was a lot easier said than done, but she didn't want to think about it right now; she'd dodge the bullets as they came.

"Will you ever come home?," The question seemed to echo off the walls of Alex's small bedroom. Olivia was barely given enough time to mull over the thought of flying back out to New York City a few years from now only to find that Alex and Serena were homeless or worse, dead before they both heard the sound of her mother stirring from the other room.

"I don't know, kid." Olivia sighed panic rising in her throat, knowing the only reason she wouldn't come home was because she wouldn't be able to handle the truth again. She was running like a coward, leaving her little sister to fend for herself, and not planning on looking back.

"Go." Alex whispered looking into Olivia's dark brown eyes one last time before she launched herself into her arms.

"I love you, Liv," Alex sobbed knowing that the only thing Olivia would have to remember her was the tear stained shirt she was wearing.

"I love you too, baby-girl." A moment later she was gone and Alex was left staring into an empty room never feeling so alone.


	2. Chapter 2

Olivia was walking as calmly as she could through the streets of New York City not succeeding much since she was still quite jittery from running seven blocks to make sure her mother didn't come after her. If her mother had noticed, which Olivia doubted she had, she wouldn't find her now. The traffic at this time of night wasn't as bad as usual, but she couldn't help but jump at small noises; a cat on the fire escape or a beer can being scraped across the concrete by the summer night wind. Although Olivia had a vague idea of where she was, she still hadn't any idea where she could stay the night much less the rest of her life. She had five hundred dollars stuffed safely in the pocket of her duffle from babysitting, but she didn't know where to find a cab at this time a night to take her to the airport. Even if she did manage to get there, she had a hunch they wouldn't let her on the plane without an I.D.

Liv began to feel the consequences of her actions creeping up on her, so she veered off to the left where the entrance to a dingy bar sat open and waiting for late night guests. It smelled strongly of smoke and alcohol, though it was almost completely empty. There were three people in the room; a girl, who looked about twenty, smoking a cigarette, the older-looking bartender, and a guy slumped over on a bar stool, clearly knocked out.

The bartender smiled dully at Liv, but didn't say anything. He looked exhausted. Even though it would probably be the scariest place for Olivia at the moment, she only felt the overwhelming sense that she was safe. She didn't understand why since it was well past one in the morning and she didn't know any of these people, but Liv knew that it was better than being in the house with her mother.

Liv took a seat at the table next to the girl with a cigarette. She noticed this girl looked especially lovely under the dim light of the bar. Her shoulder, length deep auburn hair glistened with tiny strands of gold and her green eyes sparkled as she let out another puff of smoke.

"So," the girl said unexpectedly in a smooth voice, "what brings you here?" Olivia was momentarily caught off guard, not thinking that she would have any contact with such a stranger.

"Uhm," Olivia said, licking her lips uneasily, "I-I just left my boyfriend," she said in a voice that even sounded fake to her. The girl looking at her with a smile tugging at her lips.

"Want one?," she offered a box of cigarettes out to Olivia and Liv hesitated. Olivia had never smoked before and she wasn't sure if now was the time to start, but she pulled the long thin stick out of the box anyway. The girl tossed her over a lighter and she lit it up.

"First timer?," the girl asked as Olivia began to cough and sputter as she consumed some of the smoke. Olivia nodded as her eyes began to water and her body heaved heavily.

"I'm Casey," the girl said offering out a slim delicate hand to Olivia who grasped it tightly as she continued to catch her breath.

"Sorry," Olivia said a moment later as her breathing evened out, "I'm not really used to...this." She ushered to the beer stacked behind the bar and the cigarette butts. Casey snickered and nodded in understanding.

"So, your name is...?"

"Olivia," Olivia said a little too hurriedly. Casey gave her a perplexed look.

"You kinda seem a little jumpy," Casey said eyeing Olivia's duffle bag a little more closely.

"I've seen some weird people in New York, but you...," Casey trailed off and looked at Olivia again. "You seem a little young to have left your boyfriend." Fear clouded Olivia's mind and she silently slipped out of the chair and snatched up her bag in record time.

"I have to go," Olivia murmured avoiding the girl's eyes. All Liv was thinking about right now was getting as far away from the girl as possible before she took her to the police. God, she hadn't been out for an hour and she was already caught.

"I'm not gonna turn you into the cops or anything," Casey said laughing as she gently laid a hand on Olivia's wrist. "Look, I'm here okay? I've got loads of experience, so you can spill and I'll advise you." Olivia hesitated and considered it. If she stayed she might just be able to plan out something plausible to do instead of sitting here at a bar.

"Okay," Olivia sighed and sat back down in the chair, "I-I just ran away. I'm almost eighteen, but my mother refused to enroll me in college," she explained laying her head in her hands as Casey listened intently. "She's an alcoholic and she used to h-hit me. I...," Olivia paused holding back a sob, "I had to leave my sister there. I couldn't take her, not while she's in school still. I-I'm so afraid mom's going to hurt her." With that Olivia broke down and buried her head in her arms. For someone who was a complete stranger, Casey was awfully comforting as she smoothed back Liv's dark brown hair.

"Don't worry," Casey soothed softly, "I know how you feel; Everything's falling apart, you have no idea what to do, but you have to trust me when I say everything is all going to be okay." Olivia raised her dark eyes up to meet Casey's.

"Really?," she whimpered. Casey smiled supportingly and nodded.

"Really," Casey said, "When I was your age," Casey paused a bit her lip shyly, " I did the same thing." Olivia's eyes widened at her amount of luck that she was able to meet someone with such a similar situation. "That was a year ago and do you know what happened within three months?" Casey asked. Olivia shook her head. "I got a job up in Massachusetts waiting tables and went to Harvard after I begged them to give me a scholarship."

"They gave you one?," Olivia gasped in disbelief. A scholarship to a normal college was big enough, but a scholarship to an Ivy league was unheard of.

"Yeah. I'd already been accepted there and I told them my situation...," She trailed off and looked down at her hands uncomfortably. Olivia didn't really know what to say. Something about the way Casey was staring at her hands, her eyes visibly filling with tears made Olivia's heart yearn to know what could've caused such a smart, beautiful girl such...pain.

"I-I," stuttered Casey as she tried to compose herself, "I guess I owe you the truth..." Olivia shook her head.

"No, no, Casey you don't have to-," Casey cut her off as her eyes came up to meet hers.

"I want to," she said. Casey took a deep, long breath as she began her story.

"I was seventeen when I started dating this guy, Charlie. W-we were really close...I mean he was my best friend since I was a little girl and we both had these feelings for each other so I guess we just took a shot. He said it was one of the best things that had ever happened to him...," Casey smiled to herself and Olivia saw true need shining in her green eyes, "A few months later he said he wanted to have sex with me..." Casey took a breath and sighed. "I didn't want to but I agreed anyway because I was afraid he'd leave me if I said 'no,' so we did it. The first night I cried myself to sleep because I felt so...dirty. Then he asked me again and I almost said, 'no' again, but I just felt so pressured so we did it...I guess I kept convincing myself it would be better the next times. It was sorta true, but after a few times he got," Casey frowned, "violent, rough. All I had left my schoolwork. I guess I was so eager to prove myself... I stopped eating, sleeping, all because I was so afraid he would sneak over like he did sometimes and-and..." Casey trailed off and took another deep breath and brushed away a few stray tears that had fallen.

"Casey, I'm so sorry," Olivia said, meaning it. Casey laughed bitterly.

"That's not the worst of it...," Olivia immediately knew something horrible had to happen by the grim, dull tone that her new friend used, but she wasn't sure than what could be worse than getting raped every night by your boyfriend. "I w-was over his house one time and a few of his friends were over...he started touching me, pushing me around until he got up and started full-on beating me...his friends were high and drunk so they thought it was all sort of some act. They raped me."

Olivia saw the bartender in the corner glance over out of the corner of his eye, hearing the whole heart-wrenching conversation. Everything she had learned over the past years came into question when she realized the horrific reality of the situation. Casey had been violated, beaten, mentally scarred...yet she was here in this bar on the streets of New York City. She was still beautiful and she'd gotten a scholarship. She'd become somebody. Even though it took something as terrible as rape and losing everything to make Olivia realize she had hope, it made her feel better.

"That was when I left...I just had a hundred bucks. Got a ride up north and got a job...," Casey said grimacing. "I know that you think that was totally stupid of me to leave without any preparation or anything, but I couldn't bear going back home. I haven't seen my parents since."

Thoughts overtook Olivia's mind as she tried to figure out something to say to Casey, anything...

"I-I understand why you left," Olivia said weakly, knowing that she sounded like a complete and utter idiot. Casey smiled as she realized how shocked Olivia was at meeting such a complex stranger in a bar. They'd barely known each other fifteen minutes and they had already told each other their life stories.

"I know you do," Casey said. "Look, I think I should hit the road...it was nice meeting you." She got up and Olivia saw that she was relatively tall with a stunning slim figure. She looked especially nice with the black skinny jeans and skin-colored top she was wearing.

"Thank you, Casey," Olivia said with a small smile, sad and worried that the only person she somewhat knew was leaving. Casey nodded, smiled, and swung her red handbag over her shoulder.

"Maybe I'll see you around here sometime, kid."

And then she was gone.

* * *

Olivia knew that that must've been how Alex felt when she left her there all alone with her mother. Although Serena only ever beat Olivia because she was the child of rape and Alex was the child of her so-called boyfriend, Olivia couldn't help but feel afraid for Alex.

She was feeling so afraid that she was about to get up and leave when the bartender called her over.

"Hey, kid!," hesaid in a friendly tone and waved her over when his eyes met hers. He must've been around twenty three with dark skin and kind twinkling eyes that made her trust him more than she thought she should've.

"Yeah?," Olivia asked confusion present in her voice.

"Look, I heard about your situation and I'm just lettin' you know that there's an opening at a diner in Brooklyn. I know it's a bit of a drive, but it's better than going all the way up to Maine, plus the neighborhoods nice. My buddy works there and was tellin' me about it," he said scribbling down an adress on the back of an old flyer.

"Thank you...so much," Olivia said smiling, not believing her luck, and taking the flyer when he was finished. The guy smiled back.

"Tell him Fin sent you, okay?," Fin asked and Olivia nodded. "Good luck."

It was only when she was on the warm summer streets again finding a cab to hail that she realized how lucky she was to have met these two different but equally helpful people whom she'd probably never see again. They'd helped her in more ways than she thought possible; giving her hope and a safe place to go. Sure, every block she walked she was getting further away from home, but Olivia had some odd feeling that she wouldn't regret it as much as she thought she would.


End file.
